Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
