He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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