Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
