I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
