I think I won the penis lottery.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
