she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
why do cheetos always look like penises
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
