question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Sorry about my life...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
