i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
