Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
