his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
