I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
