you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
