My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
