Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
