I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
