when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
