so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
