atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
