she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
