I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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