last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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