I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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