totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
