At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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