She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
