I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize