I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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