but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
