i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
