I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
