well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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