i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize