My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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