if i can run in heels then i can drive
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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