What did we do last night that was yellow?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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