Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
