so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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