My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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