so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize