I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
