I CAN MOONWALK!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize
