Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
one might say we're banned from that church
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
