just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize