is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
