Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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