Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
