I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
