Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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