oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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