In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize