he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
