Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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