So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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