Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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