used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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