Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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