yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
