there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize