Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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