I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
