If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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